Last week we learned that three dangers in Motherhood are:
Mothering without Christ, Mothering without Rest and Mothering without Prayer.
Today, we will learn three more dangers in motherhood.
Mothering without Community
“Because we weren’t meant to do life alone. God created us for community — created us to need each other to do life well…. But he (Jesus), knows more than we do, that we were made to live in community. He has always been a fan of the buddy system.”
Stacey Thacker
We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” And I didn’t fully understand this until I had my first child. Being a mom is harder than we think and harder than we sometimes care to admit. Sometimes, it is easier to go through it alone but overall, we need each other. We need others to walk through this journey of motherhood. We need people just like us to remind us that we’ll get through the sleepless nights, we’ll get through the postpartum depression, we’ll get through the difficulty of breastfeeding or the lack of breastfeeding, and we’ll get through the constant need of wanting to be alone (even to use the restroom) but failing to get even five minutes to ourselves.
Will it motherhood get easier? That depends on what your definition of easy is. I’m sure that what seems difficult now will become easier but just because the kids get older doesn’t necessarily mean mothering them will become easier. Some areas might become easier as others become harder, which is why it’s so important to have a community.
For me, my church is one of my communities. I am so blessed to have friends who are experiencing being “in the trenches” of motherhood like I am. I am so thankful to know that I am not alone; to know that there are others I can go to for advice when I am dealing with a difficult child or a child that is having separation-anxiety. I am thankful to know that I am not alone and that God has allowed us the privilege to go through life having community.
Another community I am thankful for is the online community. There are so many mommy groups on facebook that you can be part of. I am probably a part of one or two but I can’t even keep up with that right now with the season that I am in. But it is so neat reading advice from other mommas who have “been there, done that” and how they overcame or continued on. There are people that live on the other side of the world but you can still reach them and be a blessing to them because of technology. Thank you, Jesus!
“Building deep community takes time… (it) always brings a risk factor because other people are human like us.”
Stacey Thacker
This simply means that people aren’t perfect; therefore, community isn’t perfect. You may experience having some in your “community” that are competitors rather than complementors, critics rather than encouragers. When that happens, because it will, move past it. Learn from any negativity they are saying to you or about you and push past it — don’t let it bring you down.
Because no words said about you can define you who truly are.
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Remember that your identity and your worth is found in Christ. Only He can truly satisfy and fill our hearts with hope. As much as possible, pray that those in your community would be friends that point you to Christ; that they would be people who draw you closer to Him rather than away from Him.
Mothering without Mentors
I would not be the person I am today and the mother I am today without the people who willingly took me under their wing and mentored me, either through their example of personally taking their time to teach me one-on-one. With the age of technology we live in now, I also have mentors online that might not even know they are my mentors but because they have such a passion and heart to help moms like me, their influence has gone farther than just those whom they know — their influence has been able to reach people from one part of the world to another part of the world and that is just amazing!
My mentors are people who pray for me, instruct me, teach me, love me, and support me on my dreams and aspirations. They are people who are honest with me and aren’t afraid to tell me when I may be straying; they are people who invest their time, talent, and even treasure to help me grow. My mentors are people who go out of their way to help me bethe woman, the wife, and the mom that I am today.
And now that I have my own children, I desire to be a mentor to somebody else. I desire to give the same help, love, support, and prayers that were once given on my behalf to someone who is needing it.
Mentors are not just people older than you. Sometimes, mentors are those who live a life that serve as an example to them. They can be your peers or they can be your family. No matter what, pray that your mentors are people that can help you spiritually; people that you can trust to be honest with you;. people that can give you the advice you need when you need; and people that make you a better person.
As a mom, I cannot solely depend on my experiences nor my knowledge nor education. I need others to guide me so that I could implement guidance in the lives of my children. I need others to share their experiences with me so that I might know how to better handle problems that come crashing on my motherhood journey. I could definitely benefit from the knowledge of others and reciprocate that same knowledge to my children who I am ultimately mentoring.
Mothering without Vision
Where there is no vision, the people perish: (Proverbs 29:18a)
Friends, what is your vision with your mothering? If you don’t have one, maybe it’s time to pray for one. I’ve read about family mission statements and although we have one (at the back of our minds) I know that we should probably have it written or displayed somewhere.
But although it’s not necessary to actually have one, I think it would be helpful and would serve as a great reminder of what your vision and goal is as a mom.
As a mom, it is my prayer that first and foremost, my children would have Jesus as their Lord and Savior and not only to have Him as their Lord and Savior but to genuinely love Him with all their heart, soul, and mind.
Having a vision in your motherhood for both you and your children will benefit your whole family. When you have a goal and you set your mind to accomplishing that goal, it makes the process worth it. Will the process of motherhood be easy? Sometimes. Will it be difficult? Sometimes. Will there be times when you want to throw in the towel? Most definitely! But we must remember that…
“Motherhood is an investment. It is being faithful in the daily, mundane tasks that no one sees or maybe no one appreciates. And it’s truly a labour of love. It takes work and it takes love! And this work is fragile!”
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Stacey Thacker said it well when she said that in this motherhood marathon, you are handed a person, not a baton.
“We are called to love well and be faithful. And there is nothing easy about doing these two things to what adds up to a lifetime. In the marathon of motherhood, they hand you a person, not a baton. You run it for life — yours and theirs — and the thing Jesus will hopefully say to you when you see Him face to face is, “You ran well, mom, you ran well.”
Stacey Thacker – Hope for the Weary Mom
So, take your motherhood journey seriously but enjoy it as well. However, remember that your identity is not found in your being a mother. Your identity is found in Christ. And He is able to give you the grace and strength you need for this marathon.
Read these following paragraphs taken from the book, “Hope for the Weary Mom” :
“Jesus understood a life poured out. Jesus knew dirty, busy, and tried. He had twelve men pressing hard upon him every single day to love them well. He also knew the pressure of the sick and hurting and of the masses. When he grew tired, he knew where to go. He knew his Father would not grow weary. The Bible tells us “Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer” (Luke 5:16). He prayed. He withdrew to the wilderness. He spoke to His Father. Often. And in doing so, he also left us an example fo what we are to do when we find ourselves in the midst of the wearying life as a mom.”
Are you weak? Do you need strength to get up and cook dinner? Are you tired? Moms who put their trust in the Lord have the promise of new strength and hope that will soar like eagles in their hearts… The only hope we have is a life of complete dependence upon our Father. He sees us with all-seeing eyes, understands us completely, and wants to meet us in the middle of our mess and reduce us from hopelessness. He sent us Jesus to show us the way home with hope.”
So whether you are a mom who is weary or a mom in need of a vision or a mom just needing community, may you first realize your need for the Savior. He knows what you need as a mom. He knows what you are going through. He knows your strength is waning. And He knows exactly what you need to fill up so that you can pour out and pour on your children.
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